My Decision

Tomorrow's the start of 'A' level. First paper is Math Paper 1. I'm still blogging now, goes to show how much 'effort' I'm putting in for the exam this time round. Anyway, I've thought through carefully. Decided to stop studying until I find the drive to. I never expected myself to stop studying at this age. Was struggling when making this decision. But found the courage to come to this decision after talking to some people. To those who have hopes for me in my studies, I apologise for being a disappointment again. Hope you all won't think that I'm making a foolish decision cos I'll return to studying in the near future, but not now. This may not be the right choice, but it's the best to me, at least I will enjoy what I'll be doing.

Now that I've given up a burden, I feel so much lighter now. For my other problems, I realised there's no point if I kept thinking and trying to find a way to solve them all at once. 发现我是在钻牛角尖。 I still have a very long way to go, but very little time to spend. I can't afford to waste time thinking so deeply and worry about my future, I have to do something. Whether or not my time is spend wisely or my decision is right, at least I have used my time to do something instead of nothing. I shouldn't spend my time thinking and doing nothing. My plans for the future? I still don't have a goal yet. So what? Time won't stop for me.

Anyway, in a dilemma now, again. Haha! =D Should I change to a full time job or stick to my current PT job? Was planning to take up another one or two PT jobs but was tempted to take up FT admin or secretarial job after browsing through the ads. Haha! Guess I just enjoy job hopping. Another thing, I may be working for this year's SITEX again if I'm selected. Wasn't too keen at first but didn't want to be a spoiler. Haha! =D

I'm going to start learning driving after I pass the FTT. Have yet to book a test date though. It'll be fantastic if I know how to drive, can travel around more convenient... I guess... If I don't get lost! Haha! =D

My cute Mimi =D

Look at how Mimi shits!!! Haha! =D

Curiosity kills

Was really happy to meet up with the girls today. I thought I could maintain this high spirit till the end of today, but...

Should I believe my eyes? Couldn't help but to have doubts. It happened once, then twice, now I discovered it should be thrice. Is this a retribution for not fulfilling the promises? How much truth are there that I haven't uncovered? Curiosity really kills. Some women are naturally "gifted" with the "skills" to uncover secrets. Unfortunately, I'm one of the lucky woman.

New Haircut! =D

Finally got the courage to cut off my fringe. Totally new look. Was in a dilemma deciding if I should cut or not, browse through forums to look for reliable hairstylist. Chanced upon one talking about a salon nearby my house. Not all comments about the hairstylist were good but overall she sounds quite reliable. Booked an appointment with her and got my hair cut today. She was quite meticulous and showed me what kind of fringe she was going to cut. While she was trimming my hair, she kept me aware of what she was doing to my hair making me feel safe. Overall, I'm quite satisfied with her service. $14 bucks, quite alright ba. Also quite pleased with my new hairstyle, though still feel that my face looks big. Haha! =D

Somehow I think my hairstyle resembles Ming Yun's de. Ming, next time we go out together people might mistaken us as sisters. Haha! =D

My new look! =D

Back to YJ

Went back to YJ yesterday. Supposed to attend ET's lesson but she wasn't feeling well so the lesson was cancelled. But still went back to hand her my homework. She said the guys were on their way to YJ so waited in the staff room while helping ET to edit the SGCs. ET's health seems to be deteriorating. Hope she will recover soon. She told us that she might be retiring 2 years later. Felt quite sad. But she deserves the time to rest and enjoy her time touring around.

Chatted with the guys and had lunch with them. So unfair, they book out regularly every week. Anyway, they seems to be coping quite well with NS. Tool Ann taking men le. He feels like a different person to me now. Have the sergeant aura around him. Jovin taking men soon too, and seems to be enjoying his time in camp before his first team of men comes in. Jonathan looks the same to me. Though he had slimmed down, he still looks fat to me. Haha! =D Suan-ed him again while he was sharing about his foot rot experience. Just can't resist the urge to suan him every time I see him. Eng Kiat is a changed man too. He looked slim and weak to me during school days but now, he looks quite fit and tanned. The guys seems to be catching up with each other quite frequently. Ben also feel like catching up with old friends. I haven't met up with the girls for a very long time too. Planning to have a class reunion but don't know when will be a good time for all. Have yet to decide the programme too. Another BBQ will be too boring, right? Hope to come out with something soon. =D

9 Long Days...

Sent Ben to the airport last night. He was leaving for Brunei, for 9 days. Though it's shorter than his 3 weeks confinement in OCS, it's more difficult to endure. He is in Brunei and I won't be able to hear from him. No news, no contact for 9 Days! Was feeling very restless today. Suppose to go back YJ for GP lesson with Mrs Teo, but really not in the mood.

Just now my phone rang, felt quite lazy to go back to my room pick it up. But still, I drag myself to my room. Picked up the phone, looked... "Kia Yong" Was wondering why would he call me and was about to reject up the phone, like my usual practice cos most people have free incoming but I don't. Luckily I wasn't so blur for too long. KY is in the same syndicate as Ben. Quickly answered the phone. YES!!! It's really HIM!!! So surprised!!! Only managed to talk for an extremely short while cos Ben said KY was quite angry that he's using his phone. I think Ben snatched his phone instead of borrowing it from him. Haha! =D Anyway, was really relieved that his first day there was alright and he sounded not too bad. Hope he won't suffer too much there and the experience will make him a stronger person.

For these 9 days, I guess I'll be missing him like mad. Have become to dependent on him, especially after the majors setbacks. He's always there for me to comfort me that I've developed an extremely strong attachment to him. This is not really good for me. It makes me weak and I get weaker, cos he's my reason to live, to try making my life better. All that I'm doing now is not for myself. I don't have the right attitude towards facing my future. Maybe these 9 days without Ben beside me will allow me some time to reflect upon my attitude towards life and what I really want to achieve. Can't just selfishly depend on Ben to take care of me for the rest of my life. He's working towards being my perfect partner, I shall also learn to be a better person to become his perfect partner that he deserves to have.

HSBC Tree Top Walk! =D

Finally, after several months of longing, at last I got to go on the HSBC Tree Top walk with Ben! =D Set off from MacRitchie reservoir and saw lots of monkeys there. Quite a number of them are mama monkeys with there extremely adorable little babies. Ben go a little crazy trying to snap some shots of the monkeys. Haha! =D The walk to our destination was very long, took a few hours to reach there. It was rather disappointing as I thought the suspension bridge would be very long and very high above the ground. However, after not exercising for such a long period of time, it's a satisfactory to have reached the top cos the route there is really long. The route up to the bridge was so long and steep that I kept grumbling on my way up. Haha! =D Old and fat le, no stamina anymore. Pictures are in Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=320717&id=777280550&l=909080f774 =D