It's been slightly more than a month. Today, I was looking for something which I thought might be in my mama's drawers. Chanced upon the photos that she kept. She's always a happy and easy going person to all who knew her. Can't help but to think how life would be much better with her. Saw the photo that we took during my brother's BMT. It would be a perfect photo if my younger brother was in there too.
Whenever people ask me how am I, I would always say that I'm fine. Yes, it's a fact, I'm really fine. Nothing much has changed with regards to my daily routine. I don't spend half a day crying on bed because I've lost my mama. People say we're strong, relatives worry that we haven't expressed out our emotions. But the fact is, we know what mama wants of us. To live life normally, stay together and be happy. Also, we want her to leave peacefully, knowing that we can take care of ourselves.
But some people just don't understand and kept doing those stupid things to disrupt my mama's peace. Seriously, the only thing that change is that I'm disliking my father even more. If he wants to follow the custom of folding and burning paper on the 49th day, go ahead with the preparation yourself. We don't want to be implicated. We don't want mama to come back to 'bless' us cos that won't be her anymore. I seriously feel like telling him off in the face,"If you're dead, do you want people to make you stay as a wandering ghost and worship you as a deity, but when the fact is that you're a ghost and cannot do anything?!" Shit him man. Other than being more irritating, he haven't contribute anything yet. And guess what, he's watching porn! How faithful a husband he is, isn't he? Hypocrite. Wondering how long can we endure his nonsense... Hmmm...
During this period, I'm very glad that people around showed lots of concern to us. I feel fortunate that I had a elder brother to depend on and a younger brother who is so matured. Also not forgetting, Ben was exceptionally attentive, always by my side whenever he has the time. Have to admit, I'm super pampered and feel so loved by everyone!
Though I did blame the Lord for the incident, I start to realise that not everything that looks bad are bad actually. It's the most unfortunate thing that my mama passed away, but she can finally be freed of all burdens and torture. I'm sad that she's gone, I miss her. I pray that she's at peace, no longer worrying whereever or nowhere she is.
Now, to my daily routine. Studies is still the same. Sian. Haha! Every week looking forward to weekend. Lol! Now, I'm back to being MOM interviewer. Kena balestier the ulu area again. Sigh. But the flexi working hour and good pay is too lucrative. Haha! I'm given 170 cases! *faint* But there's 88 left after one whole day of frantic calling. Hohoho! But house visit will still be a headache. Novena, bishan and tpy. Sigh. Anyway, weekends I'm flea-ing like mad as usual. If you guys think that I'm trying to numb myself or what, then you all are really wrong. The enjoyment of running fleas is so overwhelming that I'm doing 2 on the same day. Passion is the only word that I can think of to explain the tremendous drive in me to be so crazy over fleas. And I'm pulling my younger brother in too. He did his virgin flea with her gf last week and he kept sms-ing me, updating me on the crowd at his side and his sales. Never thought he would so excited. Like sister, like brother. And he's looking forward to the next flea! Lol! =D
The most unfortunate happened to us, but we're most fortunate to be able to tell who's genuine and who's not. We're blessed with caring relative and friends and the maturity to stay positive. Happy or not, we still have to go on with life so why not stay positive and be happy. =D
Whenever people ask me how am I, I would always say that I'm fine. Yes, it's a fact, I'm really fine. Nothing much has changed with regards to my daily routine. I don't spend half a day crying on bed because I've lost my mama. People say we're strong, relatives worry that we haven't expressed out our emotions. But the fact is, we know what mama wants of us. To live life normally, stay together and be happy. Also, we want her to leave peacefully, knowing that we can take care of ourselves.
But some people just don't understand and kept doing those stupid things to disrupt my mama's peace. Seriously, the only thing that change is that I'm disliking my father even more. If he wants to follow the custom of folding and burning paper on the 49th day, go ahead with the preparation yourself. We don't want to be implicated. We don't want mama to come back to 'bless' us cos that won't be her anymore. I seriously feel like telling him off in the face,"If you're dead, do you want people to make you stay as a wandering ghost and worship you as a deity, but when the fact is that you're a ghost and cannot do anything?!" Shit him man. Other than being more irritating, he haven't contribute anything yet. And guess what, he's watching porn! How faithful a husband he is, isn't he? Hypocrite. Wondering how long can we endure his nonsense... Hmmm...
During this period, I'm very glad that people around showed lots of concern to us. I feel fortunate that I had a elder brother to depend on and a younger brother who is so matured. Also not forgetting, Ben was exceptionally attentive, always by my side whenever he has the time. Have to admit, I'm super pampered and feel so loved by everyone!
Though I did blame the Lord for the incident, I start to realise that not everything that looks bad are bad actually. It's the most unfortunate thing that my mama passed away, but she can finally be freed of all burdens and torture. I'm sad that she's gone, I miss her. I pray that she's at peace, no longer worrying whereever or nowhere she is.
Now, to my daily routine. Studies is still the same. Sian. Haha! Every week looking forward to weekend. Lol! Now, I'm back to being MOM interviewer. Kena balestier the ulu area again. Sigh. But the flexi working hour and good pay is too lucrative. Haha! I'm given 170 cases! *faint* But there's 88 left after one whole day of frantic calling. Hohoho! But house visit will still be a headache. Novena, bishan and tpy. Sigh. Anyway, weekends I'm flea-ing like mad as usual. If you guys think that I'm trying to numb myself or what, then you all are really wrong. The enjoyment of running fleas is so overwhelming that I'm doing 2 on the same day. Passion is the only word that I can think of to explain the tremendous drive in me to be so crazy over fleas. And I'm pulling my younger brother in too. He did his virgin flea with her gf last week and he kept sms-ing me, updating me on the crowd at his side and his sales. Never thought he would so excited. Like sister, like brother. And he's looking forward to the next flea! Lol! =D
The most unfortunate happened to us, but we're most fortunate to be able to tell who's genuine and who's not. We're blessed with caring relative and friends and the maturity to stay positive. Happy or not, we still have to go on with life so why not stay positive and be happy. =D
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